i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
