So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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