Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
