I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize