then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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