yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
