all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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