i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
bring money and cleavage
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
