Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
sex in a hospital.. check
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
