So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
