I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
