just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
