he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
