I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
