Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
