I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
