turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
