five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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