there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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