So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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