The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
