The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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