No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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