I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
