For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize