Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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