There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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