Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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