Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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