Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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