By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
