i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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