Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
