I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
