That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
