so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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