Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
