WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
it was like having sex with a tree stump
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
