I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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