I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
