did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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