the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize