Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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