Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It's Friday. Sex?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
