I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
