how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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