If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
