Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Say something about gay babies.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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