thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
