im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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