i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
