He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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