farters have to be the big spoon...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize