East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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