Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize