actually, I'm a sock model
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
