Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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