is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
