he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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