He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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